


Perfect Dish

by tehhojo



Category: RWBY
Genre: Bad Cooking, Cooking, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22850368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehhojo/pseuds/tehhojo
Summary: Weiss has never cooked a day in her life but she decides to do it for her beautiful girlfriend, Ruby.
Relationships: Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	Perfect Dish

**Author's Note:**

> I am one slow writer. But better late than never I suppose. I haven't had a chance to properly edit this work since I ran out of time so I hope it turned out all right. Please enjoy!

“What a day…”

The door to the apartment opens slowly, a female figure half slouches in, weariness evident in every step she takes. She shrugs off her heavy coat and sloppily kicks off her high heeled boots internally wincing at the uncharacteristically uncouth action. The space is dimly lit and poshly furnished in Atlesian fashion, warmly coloured to detract from the usually bleak weather that besets the country. Ever so silently the figure creeps through the foyer of the apartment careful not to make any undue noise as to disturb its other inhabitant.

“Mmm… Weiss…?” A sleep heavy question floats towards Weiss who turns towards its source in exasperation.

“Ruby! Why are you still up!? Don’t you have work tomorrow?” Ruby sits at the kitchen table in a zipped up red hoodie, her head resting in her folded arms groggily blinking the sleep from her silver eyes.

“Hmm… nah, contract got cancelled, waiting on the guild to get me a new one.” Ruby sat back against the chair and stretched mightily, the joints in her neck and arms audibly popping.

“Still, you shouldn’t be up this late and sleeping at the dinner table of all places!” Weiss moved to sit across from Ruby, glaring in reproach but too tired to put any actual weight behind it. 

Ruby sheepishly places a steaming cup o’ noodles down in front of Weiss before returning to her seat with her own instant food. “Sorry this was all I could make for you, Weiss, I’m… uh… not the most fanciest of cooks”. A terrible feeling hit Weiss at that moment. She should’ve known such things about her girlfriend but her increasingly busy work life had never really meshed well with Ruby’s contract huntress work to allow for a shared home cooked meal. 

“Yang did all the cooking after mom died, so I had an amazing sister to keep me fed. I tried one time but almost burning down the kitchen while trying to bake cookies sure put a kibosh on that idea.” Weiss smiled at Ruby’s nervous laugh falling into a contemplative mood as she gracefully and noiselessly slurped up her noodles. 

Growing up there were never such things as family dinners. On the rare occasion that she was not eating alone, attended by the Schnee household’s army of servants, the family gatherings would be cold and aloof at best. Her father would always be there, his painfully patronizing and too strict attitude making the event something to dread rather than rejoice. Weiss peers over her steaming cup spying the overly satisfied grin that her girlfriend was sporting, and while there was no doubt in her mind that Ruby would enjoy eating a sack of potatoes as long as Weiss was with her, it would be nice to be able to eat a well cooked meal together. 

“Remnant to Weiss? Hellooooo…?” Ruby waved a calloused hand in front of her partner’s face pulling her away from her wistful reverie.

“Hmm? Oh sorry, I was just thinking about how nice it would be to enjoy a home cooked meal together.” 

“Oh yeah, no doubt, but who would do that? I would burn down our nice little apartment and let’s face it, babe, would you be able to find your way around the kitchen without Klein?” 

“Hey! It can’t be _that_ hard can it?” Ruby raises a dubious eyebrow and Weiss knows that she hasn’t a leg to stand on but feels indignant enough to need to rebut. Weiss starts to pout at her ultimately correct girlfriend but the dent in her pride still stings a little, Ruby loves this part of her and giggles a little as she gently drags her into an embrace. 

“Ah who has the time to learn how to cook, you being the youngest and busiest mogul in Remnant history and me being the most amazing Huntress since mom, we barely have enough time to ourselves!” Ruby punctuates with small kisses on Weiss’ cheek and it serves to lessen the pout and increase the blush on her alabaster features.

“But we can’t survive on take-out and cups o’ noodle for the rest of our lives can we? There must have been something home made that you loved when you were younger!” Ruby gives a thoughtful expression, tapping her finger on her chin in exaggerated contemplation.

“Weh-ell Patch is an island and I remembered that mom made really good stuff with local fresh seafood and ohh the baked goods! Can’t forget those!” Ruby was practically salivating and Weiss had to shoo her off before the drool dampened her shoulder. Ruby drags her arm across her mouth to dispel the saliva with a slurp. “But we’re in Atlas now and it’s kinda hard to get the freshest seafood seeing as we’re y’know… several hundred meters up in the air.”

“True. Like everything in Atlas, the Lien speaks the loudest and only the most high end restaurants can get ingredients like that.” Before Weiss can ponder upon the problem further, Ruby pulls her forcibly to her feet and towards their bedroom.

“Lets think about this some other time it ain’t that important, we need our beauty sleep!” Weiss’ feeble attempt at protesting are silenced as the bedroom door slams shut behind them, Weiss may control the majority of the most powerful company on Remnant but even that pales in comparison of force of will that is Ruby Rose.

\----------

“Hooo boy, what a trip!” Ruby jumps out of her muddy boots as they lazily topple to the ground with a wet squelch. “Weissy i’m hoooo-ooooome~!” Ruby skips into the living room with pep ready to fall into the loving embrace of her adorable girlfriend.

She falls into an empty though comfortable couch upsetting the perfectly arranged cushions.

Ruby looks up from her disappointed pile and spots Weiss in the kitchen working on… something.

“Weeeiiisssss! Huggies!” Ruby makes grabby hands towards the distant Weiss. After a minute of her adorable gesticulating without any reaction Ruby knew there was something amiss. Chancing a glance above the couch back she spotted Weiss, back turned concentrating on something in the kitchen. “Wat’cha doin’?” Ruby in a flash of rose petals appeared behind Weiss resting her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder. There was flour and soggy lumps of dough everywhere, scattered measuring implements and an open book with a delicious looking pie thing pictured within.

“Klein let me borrow his old Atlesian cookbook. I don’t know why he looked so worried, this puff pastry seems simple enough. You wouldn’t believe how much butter was in the recipe though, I cut it by half to make it healthier!” Weiss’ smugness about her apparent culinary conquest was almost palpable.

“Oh… uhmm. Ohhhh!” To Ruby's credit she was able to feign some form of amazement but deep down she remembered her mom saying that the reason her cookies were so delicious was because she followed her recipe, especially the butter part! Ever the supportive girlfriend, Ruby kept this knowledge to herself for the time being, opting to be a passive and dreading observer. “What's that smell?”

“Hmm? Oh that's the fish that I'm going to bake into the pie! You said that you loved fresh fish and pastries so I thought I'd put them together!” Weiss beamed at her obviously brilliant idea while Ruby drafted her last will and testament in her mind. The things one does for love.

* _ding*_

“And it’s done! Oh I can’t wait for you to try it! I worked all morning on it waiting for you to get home!” Ruby quickly masked her grimace with a look of astonishment, Weiss had really put a lot of work into this.

Weiss rose back up with a pie dish in hand with something that would have looked more at home in one of those silly Saturday morning cartoons that Ruby enjoyed. It was like a half pie or a folded piece of dough that puffed and protruded at odd angles.

“Is that a fish head?”

“Yes, I only got the freshest fish that lien could buy, I had it couriered here first class this morning! It came in whole and I really didn’t know how to filet it so I just used the whole thing.” Weiss looks at Ruby who, with titanic force of will, approaches the mis-creation with fork in hand. Pressing the fork down to cut a piece off she meets resistance akin to the concrete of a street corner.

“Uhm.” She looks at Weiss whose genuine smile causes her to swallow hard but with a grunt of exertion the fork crashes through the iron-wrought pie crust and makes such an embarrassingly audible * _clank_ * with the tin that Ruby cringes. Not willing to attempt to pierce through its defenses again with the prongs she resorts to scooping the piece into her mouth instead. 

Chaos incarnate.

The combination of textures sitting on Ruby’s tongue defied logic, it was heavy but so dry that it sapped the moisture from her mouth like some sort of malignant sponge. She slowly and laboriously began to chew and the gravel-like consistency grinded against her molars which she swears she could hear their tiny screams. The taste. Oh the taste! She must have eaten the worst end of a fish made of bad ends and what little butter that had escaped the tyrannical clutches of the crust had been burned to bitterness, exposed to its mad merciless world. 

Ruby tried to swallow but her survival instincts locked her esophagus, her body outright rejecting something that her aura would’ve been hard pressed to deal with. She looked to Weiss who’s smile was faltering, being replaced with an increasingly worried expression at her girlfriends increasingly panicked expression. Ruby didn’t want to hurt Weiss but with increasing distress she wildly looked about her surroundings wanting to dispose of the offending substance in her mouth that was assaulting her senses when the windows and walls began to melt. Her brain revved into overdrive, sensing the danger it was in, it began to pump adrenaline and endorphins out in painfully equal measure. The sensation was too much and Ruby toppled off the kitchen stool hitting the floor with a loud thud and convulsing, her mouth foaming uncontrollably trying to add an extra layer of protection between it and the grimm-pie.

“Ruby!” Weiss races to her girlfriend’s prone form, aura flickering as if assaulted by an invisible spectre. “Ruby wake up! What’s wrong with you!?”

After what felt like a dizzying eternity Ruby’s eyes fluttered open looking up a watery blue eyes belonging to someone important to her.

“W… Weiss…?”

“Ruby! Snap out of it!”

“I s-survived the… the pie? I really am… Remnants greatest Huntress…” Weiss dropped Ruby’s head from her cradled arms returning her to the sweet, blissful oblivion of unconsciousness and got up to leave the apartment without another word.

Ruby did not accept the next hunting contract.

\----------

“And I've barely seen her since! She comes home super late and just collapses, sometimes into bed!”

“Sometimes?”

“Well sometimes she doesn’t even make it that far and just curls up on the couch…”

Two women in a barely busy cafe are having a little too loud to be private, private conversation. Their exclamations and one sided gesticulations drawing the attention of passer-bys that are just eager to grab their cups of brew to start another morning.

“I dunno Yang, I think she’s still mad at me for the grimm-pie incident. I try to tuck her in when she collapses in the apartment but she’s always gone by the time I wake up in the morning!” Yang, Ruby’s loving sister couldn’t stop laughing for a solid ten minute span when she first heard about the grimm-pie incident and even now couldn’t help a silly grin work its way onto her face at the mention of the harrowing experience.

“Well did you ask her if she was still mad? That usually kinda-sorta works with Blake.”

“Yeah I did and she says ‘ _It’s fine_ ’ but you know that that’s not an answer you wanna hear from your girlfriend!” Ruby looks miserable as she pokes and prods the cookies on her plate.

“Hoo boy, you aren’t kidding about that!” Yang winces as she remembers how many times she’s elicited such a response from her girlfriend. “Well wat’cha gonna do, Rubes?”

“I was hoping you’d be able to tell me!” Ruby whines as she buries her head in her arms, her cookies for once laying forgotten at the mounting despair. “What if she hates me now…” She miserably mumbles.

“Pssh! Weiss? Hate you!? We are talking about the same woman who would buy all the bakeries in Remnant if you asked her to, right?” Yang leaned back in her chair nonchalantly sipping her coffee despite her sister’s audible groaning.

“Yang, I’m being serious!”

“So am I, Rubes. Like all the bakeries. All of them.” Ruby continues to sulk and Yang sighs having quite enough of her overly melodramatic little sister. “Tell ya what, just ask her what’s up. Simple right? If you guys can’t hash it out I’ll come on in and solve it, Yang style.”

Ruby gave her sister an ‘ _I wish you weren’t serious_ ’ kind of look making Yang roll her lilac eyes. “In which I mean i’ll ask Blake. Party pooper.”

“Thanks Yang!” Ruby spun one-eighty and cheerily cupped her sister’s hands in her own.

“Y’know if that was what you wanted all along you could’ve just asked Blake, she would’ve helped.” Yang brought her mug to her lips to hide her disappointment. 

“Yeah but I had to make sure that you wouldn’t fly off the handle and chase Wiess down for making me worry.” Yang was shocked, hurt even.

“C’mon Rubes, I’m totally passed those rage-ahol days!” Ruby just gave her another look that Yang couldn’t meet so she just turned her chin up to it. "Fine. I'll go tell Blake." She grumbles indignantly. 

"Thanks Yang, I knew you'd be there for me!" Ruby circles the table in a flash to hug her sister.

\----------

Yang did not tell Blake.

Stealth wasn’t really a Yang thing, she would usually leave that to her better half but as her better half would have advised away from the night’s endeavors, she had to take things into her own hands. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, Yang tucked her golden mane under her motorcycle helmet and down the back of her hoodie. Peeking out from the alley that she had parked her bike in, Yang kept her secret vigil outside of the Schnee Dust Company, Vale Branch, waiting for her target to appear. As if on cue, Weiss burst out the front door and hurried down the building steps into an awaiting car, strangely looking like in a big hurry.

“Let’s go, I’m going to be late!” Weiss says with not a small hint of exasperation.

The car speeds off and Yang follows from a discreet distance. As the city streaks by, Yang keeps half a trained mind on the road as her thoughts jumble over several questions.

“Late? Late for what? Why is Weiss panicking and why is she going the wrong way? Their apartment is the other way.” Curiosity plagued her. That and suspicion but mostly curiosity and the only way Yang knew how to sate these feelings was to beat the answers out of her target. But since Ruby would never forgive her if she did that to Weiss then she’ll have to resort to stalking one of her best friends instead. She got back on her bike and tailed Weiss’ limo at a discreet distance of three vehicles away. Her uncharacteristic cautiousness messed up her plans when she was caught at a traffic stop while her prey continued off into the distance.

“Ah shit! Blake is so much better than me at this sneakin’ crap.” The light held stale at red for what seemed like an eternity, Yang’s patience wearing thinner and thinner with each passing moment.

“Fuckin’ frack!” The driver of the car next to her stared at the sound of the loud cursing which only earned him a baleful vermillion glare of ‘I will feed you this traffic light if you keep staring’ Peeling off as soon as the light changed, Yang sped away leaving the man she eye murdered sinking in his driver seat out of fear. Weaving in and out of lanes around other vehicles that earned her much ire and honking, Yang kept swearing against the wind as she couldn’t spot Weiss’ limo anywhere. 

Half an hour passes and Yang is near her snapping point and ready to just give up for the night. She rips off her helmet and rakes her flesh and blood hand through her hair as a meager form of catharsis. As luck would have it, her bike trundles to a stop and at the other side of an alleyway she spots an alabaster apparition that could only be her friend Weiss hurry off into a building. Pumping the air with a fist, Yang parks her bike huffing a sigh at the conclusion of this mystery. She hurries towards the building that Weiss disappeared into only to find out that it was one of Atlas’ premier five star restaurants. She remembered this particular establishment while spying over Blake’s shoulder, the particular magazine article about one of the most celebrated Faunus chefs in all of Remnant and the seafood fare that he was famous for.

“Why would Weiss have an appointment at this fancy place?” A dozen saner reasons flitted about in her head but the most outrageous one made the loudest noise in her head.

“Could she be cheating on my baby sis with another woman!?” Eyes flashing crimson for a moment at the thought but Yang calmed down enough not to punch a hole in the wall and strangle the life out of her friend.

Taking a shuddering calming breath she closed her eyes and tried to inject some rationality into her thoughts.

“Of course not! Weiss would never, ever do that to Ruby, she’d rather eat a dust load of grimm-pies than do that!” She decided to err on the side of caution and let her best friend explain herself. Afterall she owed her at least that much.

Marching towards the entrance of the restaurant when she heard a rather angry voice through the window of the kitchen.

“Schnee! Yer late again! Fakin’ bollocks that is!” Yang peaked over the window sill and saw a tall canine Faunus man yelling at a cowed and mortified Weiss who was wearing… chef whites?

“I’m so sorry Chef Alden, I had a lot of paperwork to do a-”

“I don give a fak, Schnee, ‘member ah deal, I’m god in this kit’chin and you lick my shitty boot if I want ya to! Now pull yer finga out and get yer ass inna gear!” Weiss could only bow and look at the floor as she retreated from the barrage against her dignity. Yang slid back down unnoticed and in shock. Weiss working in a kitchen? What the hell for? This was absolutely insane and her quest for answers led to more questions. This mystery could not be left unsolved. She’d wait for Weiss to finish her shift if she had to but she needed answers!

A few hours (and snacks from the store) later and the back door burst open. A distraught and sniffling Weiss marched out, her apron and jacket covered in probably expensive sauces.

“What the fak is this, Schnee!? You call this a pastry? I could shite out betta from me arse!” Weiss slams the door behind her and half collapses, half sits on a milk crate sobbing to herself.

“Weiss..?” Weiss startles to attention and tries to wipe her running mascara away but fails miserably leaving her looking rather grim.

“Y-Yang!? W-what are you doing here!?” She almost shrieks and hyperventilates at the same time putting a hand on her chest.

“Psh, I should ask you that question. Why are you working here under that arse ‘ole?” Yang mocks the chef's accent while jerking a thumb in his general direction.

“I-I, uhm, uh… well… ah!” Weiss flapped about unable to give a semblance of an answer. 

“I mean it doesn’t make a lick of sense, You haven’t needed to cook a day in your life unless you wanted to poison my sister. So why put yourself through this shit?” The tapping of her foot offset by the mostly patient, questioning gaze of the blonde. 

With a sudden outburst and a bit of tears Weiss confessed her plan, the stress of the ordeal making her need a willing outlet to her, in hindsight, probably mad scheme.

“I did this precisely for that reason!” Yang took a half step back at the unusual outburst from her usually composed friend.

“I… I love her so much, Yang. Ruby means everything to me, you know this. I am not exaggerating when I say that she is my world and my stars and everything that gives meaning to my life!” Yang took a hesitant step forward attempting to lay a comforting hand on her distressed friend.

“And when I saw what my cooking did to her? Yeah sure she laughs at it now, Ruby would forgive me for burning down an orphanage, I bet!”

“We-ell maybe not tha-”

“So I planned to change it, I contacted one of the best chefs in Atlas to teach me how to cook! It all seemed so simple, my Schnee clout could get me almost anything but what a fool I was. Chef Alden didn’t give a damn about my reputation.” Yang could only witness the cathartic dam burst free with raw emotion. 

“I have calluses on my calluses! He didn’t treat me any differently than anybody else, I had to earn my place in the kitchen.” A few silent moments passed until Yang gathered the morose Weiss into a placating hug.

“Please don’t tell Ruby, This is already demeaning enough as it is.” Those words sparked something in Yang who looked Weiss straight in the eyes.

“Weiss. This isn’t demeaning, you’re struggling through this because you love and care about my sister. There’s no purpose more pure than to strive for the one you love most.” Weiss was shocked at the determination behind her friend's words. She wipes away her tears and smiles a watery smile.

“Thanks Ya-”

“Unless you’re burning down an orphanage, seriously Weiss, I don’t know how you could explain that to Rubes.” Good ol’ Yang, taking the drama of the situation and suplexing it into the ground. Weiss by now was so used to this sort of thing that she continued on with barely a hitch.

“Thank you, Yang. Still, please don’t tell Ruby, I want this to be a surprise for her.” 

“Ya sure you don’t want me to ‘talk’ to this chef of yours? Convince him with a little clout of my own?” Yang punctuates her comment by punching her palm which makes Weiss giggle.

“I’m fine Yang, Chef Alden needs his limbs to teach me how to cook.” Weiss looks at her watch

“Oh shit, I have to get back in there and get back to work!” Weiss rushes back towards the door but turns around at the last moment.

“Still though. Thanks a lot Yang.”

“No Problem, Ice Queen.”

\----------

*Rubes: “I’m so nervous Yang! I’m sitting alone in this super shnazzy restaurant wearing these damn lady stilts and my smexiest dress and Weiss is nowhere to be seen!”

*YangBang: “Relax Rubes, you’ll be fine, I’m sure Weiss will be there shortly, she wouldn’t miss her anniversary dinner with you at Chef Alden’s restaurant even if an orphanage was burning down!”

*Rubes: “K… that’s a weird… uh, thing.”

*YangBang: “You’ll be fiiiiiiiiineeee~<3”

Ruby puts her scroll away and awaits the arrival of her girlfriend anxiously. It is so unlike Weiss to be late and once again her mind drifts off to her troubling thoughts during the last several weeks and worry starts to creep into her heart again.

“I’m very sorry for the wait madam.” Ruby is startled from her reverie as she looks to the side and sees Weiss dressed in an immaculate white chef’s uniform with red trim.

“This dish was specially prepared for a very important person by the kitchen. It is a Pithivier stuffed with a white fish baked with leeks, in buttery thyme cream sauce. On the outside we have roasted heirloom root vegetables and a shallot and caper, wine reduction." Ruby's mouth was agape and the vision before her. The beautiful and exquisite dish was placed in front of her by her perfect girlfriend wearing an equally perfect chef coat.

"Weiss… I… how, what?"

"I would do anything for you, you know? Learning to cook the finest cuisine in the world is a small token next to the love I feel for you, Ruby Rose." Ruby sat speechless, her lovely girlfriend took off her toque blanche and sat across from her and promptly after a server came and placed an identical dish down.

"I remember you said you missed the fish and pastry from your home back in Patch. I added the root vegetables and sauce vert to remind you of the vibrant forests of that town." Ruby still kept staring, a blush slowly encompassing her features. Suddenly a look of realization and irritation joined the spreading blush.

"Weiss! Is this what you were doing all those late nights!? I was so, so worried you… you dolt!" Weiss was momentarily shocked at the adorable outburst but quickly gave a demure giggle.

"I'm sorry Ruby, I wanted it to be a surprise for our anniversary."

"Well I hope it was worth it, making me worry about you like that!" Ruby gave a little pout that quickly became a look of relief.

"Well I hoped that you would tell me whether it was worth it or not." Weiss gestured to the plate in front of Ruby.

"Apre vous."

Ruby had a brief feeling of trepidation as she took knife and fork in hand and dug into the golden pastry. 

The experience was night and day compared to the last culinary Weiss adventure. The crust was delicate and fluffy and made a soft crunching sound as she effortlessly parted a piece of the pie. She took the morsel into her mouth and the explosion of flavors was better than anything she had ever tasted. Succulent and moist white fish meat with a buttery and silky smooth texture. The sauce on the outside added an astringency and brininess that cut the richness of butter and cream giving everything a perfect balance of flavour. 

Ruby looked up and saw Weiss, a soft smile playing on her features, her immaculate hair in its usual braided ponytail, crystal blue eyes and alabaster features. She truly was the most beautiful woman in the world. Ruby realised that she was easily the luckiest girl on Remnant to be paired with such selfless perfection. The gorgeous woman in front of her actually accentuated the e experience of the food in front of her to such a degree that it brought tears to her eyes. 

"Well? How is it?" Weiss asked, not a hint of worry on display as she reached over and cupped Ruby's free hand in hers.

"It's perfect."  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my work, I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave any comments or criticisms below and thanks again!


End file.
